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Tyler: Well, Peter, I just turned off Vince Guaraldi Trio’s sublime soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have done this so as to queue up the holiday album we’re about to discuss. Will the change be worth it?? I guess we’re about to find out.

Peter: Well… that Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack is pretty hard to top.

Tyler: Fair. My overwrought wisecrack got away from me.

A Very Special Christmas!

Peter: Yes! This was mostly new to me. Did you grow up with it? It’s been around a while.

Tyler: We had it on cassette. Talking very early ‘90s here.

Peter: That makes sense.

Tyler: I can always picture the legitimately iconic Keith Haring cover art.

Peter: My friend had it on CD when we were in college. I remembered the cover art, but not the album.

Tyler: Revisiting it over the last few days, I could remember some songs but not others.

Peter: This album starts with The Pointer Sisters! Remember The Pointer Sisters?

Tyler: “Jump!” That song is righteous. And used to fine effect in one of Christmas nü-classic Love Actually’s better scenes.

Peter: This must have felt like something of a high water mark for them, grabbing the opening spot on this star-studded affair. It was pretty much downhill from here for them.

Tyler: “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” is the Sisters’ offering. It is…something. Mercy.

Rein it in a bit, ladies. No offense.

Peter: I never like this song.

There’s no version of it that I like.

Tyler: The chattering and whooping on this one drives me up the wall. It’s grating, I’m sorry to say.

Peter: It is grating. I agree. Curious choice, opening with this.

Tyler: I say “I’m sorry” because this whole album has been a boon for the Special Olympics. Really, only a couple of spoilsports would take potshots at it. To which I say, reporting for spoilsport duty. This song should’ve been way later.

By contrast, I really dig Eurythmics’ “Winter Wonderland.” Our second track.

It’s synthy, but in a proper method. It feels chilly, in an appealing way.

Peter: Yeah, it’s good.

It’s really icy and weird. But good.

Tyler: Annie Lennox’s voice is indelible. She’s great, here and in general. “Walking On Broken Glass” is a jam.

Peter: “Sweet Dreams” is terrific, of course. When she sang “Under Pressure” with Bowie at that Freddie Mercury tribute.

So good.

Tyler: Now, the next song, “Do You Hear What I Hear,” also features one of the great voices of her time. But it smothers her!

It’s Whitney Houston, man, strip away those all-over-it backing vocals and let the woman belt alone.

Peter: Man, that voice.

She was special.

Tyler: When she died I felt a real loss. Very early childhood memories there.

Peter: I don’t like this song either. I’m not liking the song selection so far.

But, it’s Whitney. You can listen just for her voice.

Tyler: This carol has never hooked me, either, but yeah—she gives it her all.

Coming up now: the Boss!

Such a goofball.

Peter: I like this one!

Tyler: Yeah, I’ve got a soft spot for it, too.

Until we started chatting here tonight, I had forgotten that my family owned this on a 45, the flipside being the E Street “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.”

Peter: I don’t like that one!

We talked about it a little last time I think.

Tyler: We did. This right here—“Merry Christmas Baby”—is superior.

Peter: Agreed.

Tyler: The next track is a massive comedown.

Pretenders doing “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” as a rave-up might’ve been great.

Peter: This is my favorite classic Christmas carol.

Tyler: Oh yeah?

Peter: I think so.

Tyler: I like the song. I don’t like this version.

Peter: It’s maybe not the right fit for them.

I like how this song promises a future Utopia where all our troubles are far behind.

Sign me up for that.

Tyler: Faithful friends gathering near. Works for me, too.

Peter: She & Him do a great version of this.

Tyler: Their Christmas albums are good stuff.

Peter: There’s more than one?!?

Tyler: They’ve got two. I enjoy both.

Peter: How did I miss that? Well, Merry Christmas to me! It’s a Christmas miracle!

Tyler: A fine development!

Also a decent thing: our next song. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” I like the actual song less each time I hear it, but what Mellencamp does with it here has appeal.

It’s zydeco! It’s rollicking! Though the atonal kids’ sing-along has got to go.

Peter: Yeah, this song is usually horrible, but this arrangement/performance is pretty fun.

I don’t hate it.

Tyler: The inclusion of the next tune baffles me. It’s by no means bad, but it does not fit. I’ve also never heard it anywhere else. “Gabriel’s Message,” done by Sting.

Peter: I was kind of stunned by this my first time through the album.

Tyler: It’s so random!

Peter: I actually really like it, but it is strange.

Tyler: I don’t hate it. A little Sting never hurt anybody.

Peter: I love his voice.

Tyler: Yeah. He really hits some nice tones on this one.

Peter: Next is a classic. “Christmas In Hollis.”

Tyler: Best song on the collection.

Just, happiness.

Peter: It’s really good.

Tyler: Run-DMC killing it. As one might expect.

Santa dropping a wallet full of money, a cool million. And he’s got an ID! I love it.

The Christmas feast sounds delicious. Though rice is a curious addition. Feels out of place on the menu.

Peter: I’d never heard of collard greens at the time.

I grew up very white.

Tyler: Same here.

Peter: But we loved Run-DMC around that time. Them and LL Cool J and the Beastie Boys. We listened to that stuff a lot.

Tyler: The next one up here is a real swing for the fences. U2 taking on “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).”

Peter: Yeah. It is a big swing. We’ve already got the Mona Lisa…

Tyler: I like this version, quite a bit. I really liked it before I knew it was a cover. It’s good!

Peter: They do a good job with it. I’m sure it helped that you didn’t know the original. I suppose I didn’t either the first time I heard this.

Tyler: Bono’s so-Bono deep-voice-put-on intro, I could do without.

Peter: Yeah, that bit doesn’t really work.

Tyler: Y’know what else doesn’t work? Madonna’s “Santa Baby.”

I really, really don’t like this.

Peter:  Wow, I’m surprised. The Allmusic review also did not like this. I think it’s fine. The bar is so low. “Santa Baby?” Isn’t it supposed to sound like this? Campy and whatnot?

Tyler: She goes so over the top. It’s like Betty Boop to the umpteenth power.

I don’t like the song itself. That doesn’t help.

I also don’t like “The Little Drummer Boy.” But here it is. By Seger!

Peter: I agree with you on this one. I don’t like the song in general, and I also don’t like this version.

Tyler: The ox and lamb kept time. I mean, we’re off the track completely.

Peter: That didn’t happen!

Tyler: Be great if the entire stable used the drummer boy’s solo as a moment to run to the restroom.

Peter: He’s gonna play a solo on a snare drum? Thanks, I’m good.

Tyler: Mary and Joseph couldn’t wait for this kid to leave.

Peter: So true.

Tyler: I give Seger credit for flying in some mean saxophone.

Peter: Did you know Prince was trying to write something Segeresque when he wrote “Purple Rain?”

Tyler: I did not. There’s a Dylan quote out there, calling Springsteen “the rich man’s Bob Seger,” as opposed to the usual assessment of Seger as a poor man’s Bruce.

Peter: That’s fantastic!

Tyler: That Bob Dylan. He’s got a way with the words!

Peter: He does.

Tyler: Song that didn’t need to happen: “Run Rudolph Run.”

Bryan Adams bringing some live-rendition RAWK to the proceedings.

Peter: Yeah, I don’t mind it. It’s got a lot of energy. It’s not as good as the original or Keith’s version, but it’s fine.

Tyler: I adored the song as a small child. Now I’m indifferent, at least when it comes to this rendition.

Meantime, our next track is the worst on the album.

“Back Door Santa” just ain’t a good song. It’s crass and bad.

Peter: Hard agree!

It’s terrible.

Tyler: “HO HO HO HO! HEY HEY HEY HEY!”

That’s the least of the song’s problems, too. Woof.

Peter: I saw Bon Jovi live in 1993 or so. I was mocked by my peers. Rightly so!

My girlfriend at the time bought my ticket!

Tyler: Ah, young love.

I watched a bunch of Felicity freshman year of college, as I had a major crush on a girl who liked the show. It happens.

Peter: I appreciate the understanding.

But, yes, that song is trash.

Tyler: It is followed up by piety. “The Coventry Carol.”

I don’t know of this Alison Moyet.

Peter: I also do not know her. I normally do research for these, but not this time!

It’s the holidays! I’m busy!

Tyler: Bustle!

This song leaves no impression on me.

Peter: It’s pretty!

Kind of cold.

Tyler: I suppose that’s appropriate.

We’ve come to the grand finale!

Stevie Nicks offering up “Silent Night.”

Peter: Stevie!

Tyler: I don’t dig the production here. More unnecessary backup vocals. I coulda done for this one done up on acoustic guitar. Something a little different.

As it is, I think it drowns a bit.

Peter: That would be nice! With acoustic guitar.

I agree the production is overly fussy.

It’s still okay. I love her voice.

Tyler: I buy it coming from her, the spirit of the song. She sounds genuine.

We did it! We had a very special Christmas with A Very Special Christmas!

Peter: And…scene.

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