Tyler: I hope to my soul that you don’t actually own this on vinyl.
Peter: No, no. CD. It’s somewhere in the storage unit now. Packed away with the other remnants of my misspent youth.
Tyler: Down there in the boxes with Throwing Copper and Pocket Full Of Kryptonite.
Peter: I didn’t have either of those! Seriously, though, I can’t believe I thought Heathen Chemistry was better than Standing on the Shoulder of Giants. That is legit cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Tyler: We were fools. Damned fools!
Nutters, as the Gallaghers might say. Off our ‘eads!
Peter: Bollocks’d!
Am I using that correctly? I have no idea.
Anyway, we got through most of it last time. Let’s put this thing to rest. Heathen Chemistry Part Deux!
Tyler: Next track: “A Quick Peep!” Coming on the heels of the execrable “Little By Little,” this one could be charitably described as inoffensive. It’s a bit of instrumental whatever.
Peter: Right. It’s Andy Bell’s only writing credit on the album. I think we can all agree that letting the other guys write songs was a bad idea. In general.
Robin doesn’t drive the Batmobile.
Tyler: And Batgirl doesn’t drive at all!
Women, right?
Peter: It’s a good thing my wife doesn’t read these!
She loves Batgirl. I assume.
Tyler: Wait a minute now, you lamented this before! You mean we haven’t turned her head with the latest bonkers exploration of deep-cut that-band-he-loves pablum?
Peter: She’s too busy with her big time, fancy pants, button-down, corporate gig! But my work makes her work possible!
That last part isn’t true.
Tyler: Coming soon! Loom’s own Peter in an off-Broadway production of Mr. Mom!
Peter: I accidentally iron the cat! But, back to the track, yes, it’s fine. It’s very short. A tad jazzy. Whatever.
Tyler: Our next track up has a head-smacker of a parenthetical title: ”(Probably) All In My Mind.”
I’ve got love for this one. Clearly going for a very classic Beatle vibe, harmonies and soaring everything. It owes some props to “It’s All Too Much.”
Peter: That stuttering drum beat reminds me of “Ticket to Ride.”
I also like this one. It’s fun.
The harmonies sound a little like “Who Feels Love.”
Tyler: Absolutely. Liam’s giving it a go. Noel swings for the harmonic fences. It is, as startlingly ever, so wonderful to hear their voices in tandem.
Peter: Yeah, there’s some magic in that.
Tyler: Well there we go. The boys sneaking some of the old glory into this misshapen mess.
Peter: It’s not a major work or anything, but it’s definitely welcome here.
Next up is “She is Love.”
Tyler: Love this one. Full credit to the band, the second half of this album is stronger than the first. As established, “Peep” shoulda been cut, but the concluding four tracks are a sturdy set.
Peter: “She is Love” was a double A-side single with “Little By Little.” It went to number 2 in the UK. I don’t mind it, but I think it suffers a little from being on the same album as “Songbird.”
They’re a little too similar and I prefer “Songbird.”
Tyler: Absolutely a fair comparison, and “Songbird” has more guts, more soul to it. “She Is Love” is sweeter, candied.
Peter: Yeah, it might be a touch syrupy, even. But, it’s totally fine! I’m not complaining! It’s just a bit Noel-by-numbers. He writes stuff like this in his sleep.
Tyler: So much better than “Force Of Nature,” though. Let’s be clear.
Peter: Oh, for sure! 100%.
Tyler: Turning it back up, we’ve got Liam’s “Born On A Different Cloud.” A psychedelic George-esque stomp, with real feeling behind the mic from the younger Gallagher. It’s too long. But I think I love it.
Peter: I get real “Happiness Is A Warm Gun” vibes from this one. You’re right, it is overly long. I don’t mind it, but I think there’s a reason I hadn’t heard it in forever. It kind of plods along in search of… something. I dunno. It’s okay. I’m not gaga over it, though. Lot of atmosphere, that’s for sure.
Tyler: I used to think it pretty empty, but upon return I found something in it. Liam’s sneer feels real, and actually vulnerable.
It’s the next track, the final class in Chemistry—haw!—that doesn’t sell me. “Better Man” feels weak. It never takes off.
Peter: Yeah, I agree. It’s not great. I kind of liked it at the time? I’m not sure why. They were sort of in transition on this album. The next two are so much better!
Tyler: Let’s not forget the bonus instrumental! Or, actually, let’s do, because it’s buried on a single CD or Spotify track, behind like a full half hour of silence. Nonsense!
Peter: It is nonsense! Why would you do that, Oasis? It’s just dumb.
Tyler: The song is claptrap, too.
Peter: Well, there you have it, Tyler! The worst Oasis album, Heathen Chemistry!
Tyler: Ages ago, there was a dud of a roller coaster called Adventure Express at famous amusement park Kings Island. After a soft ride around a bit of light sylvanry, slightly pleasant but uninspiring, you’d enter a building like something out of an Aztec sacrifice, and inside the structure the cars would slowly climb! Statues on the left and right with scolding arms pounding! “You will pay!” blaring over the sound system! You’d climb that hill all anticipatory and excited, and then at the top you were delivered to…the end of the ride.
Heathen Chemistry, all.
Writers' Loom 