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Peter: It’s a Very Special Episode.

Tyler: It’s an episode, alright.

It’s U.S.A. For Africa, and it’s “We Are The World.”

Peter: We should mention we have not seen the documentary on Netflix.

We’re coming in cold, baby!

I don’t need no stinking documentary. I lived it, dammit. Do you remember when this came out? You must have been quite young.

Tyler: We had it the making-of on Betamax.

Peter: That’s fantastic! I love that.

Tyler: I feel like there was a time when I liked to watch it a lot.  Probably just for MJ.

Peter: He was so huge. An incredible talent.

Tyler: Loved him.  Got asked to stop throwing my ballcap across the playground when I was like five.

Peter: That’s even better than the Betamax.

Tyler: Remember Duck Duck Goose?  Do kids still play that game?  Seems like a recipe for disaster.

Peter: I do remember Duck Duck Goose, but we have a different name for it in Minnesota.

Tyler: No you don’t.  You really do?

Peter: Yes! It’s a very weird fact. We call it Duck Duck Grey Duck.

Tyler: That has no rhythm!

Poppycock.

Peter: It’s a whole thing. We’re the only place in the country that doesn’t call it Duck Duck Goose.

Tyler: This is stunning to me.

Peter: We’re a unique people.

So, let me ask you this…

Is this a good song?

Tyler: The video is a fun spectacle.  The song, on its own, is, no, not good music.

Peter: I don’t know if I can tell anymore.

Tyler: Earlier I streamed the song alone, no video.  Pretty rough.

Peter: I loved it so much at the time.

Tyler: Yeah, I liked it too.  Fond memories.

Peter: The lyrics are rough.

Tyler: Strip away the roster and, yeah.  This is a pretty facile set of words.

Peter: It’s hard to write an upbeat song about a famine.

I mean, it’s not about the famine. It’s about helping, but still.

Tyler: “We’re saving our own lives,” no?  If that’s not the actual lyric, I’ll eat my hat.

Peter: Your hat is safe.

Tyler: “We’ll help you, ‘cuz we feel sad.”

Peter: To be fair, there probably isn’t a good way to go about it. It’s a tough ask, writing that song.

Luckily for them, a murderer’s row of top talent signed on to sing it.

Tyler: It kind of turns the whole thing into a game, that video.  Who’s next??

Peter: I did a U.S.A. for Africa Power Ranking once. It was fun.

Tyler: Oh man.  I gotta go Ray Charles up top.  There’s a reason he performs last, after even Dylan.

Peter: Good call.

Obviously, MJ’s up near the top.

Tyler: Does Quincy Jones count?

Peter: I didn’t rank him.

Cyndi Lauper is incredible.

Tyler: I like Cyndi fine.  Not quite as much as she likes the spotlight here.

Peter: Boo! Boo, I say!

#JusticeForCyndi

Tyler: No shade on CL!  It’s one of quite a few combinations here that just don’t fit.

Bruce, boy howdy, baby, it ain’t working.  He’s giving it his fucking all, and it just sounds so out of place.

Peter: Again, I can’t really judge it accurately. To me, this is just how it’s supposed to sound. They rebooted this song a couple times and those versions sound all wrong.

I like some of the weird combos. Tina and Willie are great together.

It’s so long! I had forgotten. It really goes on.

Tyler: Oh, mercy, it does.  Without the video especially it drags and drags.

I was ready to cash out before they even got to Dylan.

Peter: I really love Bob on this. He is so out of place!

Tyler: Oh, I adore his turn.  People must hate it.  He’s in full-nosed ‘80s-Dylan mode.

Rocking a leather jacket in the video, I hasten to add.

Peter: Bob’s lost, but he’s playing along. God bless him.

He doesn’t want to be the Grey Duck!

Being from Minnesota and whatnot.

Tyler: Grey duck.  Never heard of something so ridiculous.

Paul Simon looks so pleased in the video.  He’s really feeling the joy.

Peter: He is!

Tyler: Lindsey Buckingham looking like a kind of Eraserhead Rob Schneider.

Peter: Why is Dan Aykroyd there?

Tyler: He’s not even from the U.S.A.!

Peter: Exactly!

Go sing on “Tears Are Not Enough,” Dan!

Tyler: Oh my Lord, I forgot about “Tears Are Not Enough.”  I forgot that I went through all of these celebrity jams at one point, maybe my college years.

Peter: Now I’m listening to it.

Neil! Bryan Adams!

Tyler: My Canadian half-brethren!

Peter: Joni!

Oh, yikes. This is not great.

Tyler: Worse than “We Are The World?”

Peter: Probably?

Yes. I’m sure. It’s worse.

Okay, I’m not finishing it.

Tyler: Worse than Ringo The 4th?

Peter: That’s low.

Better than Black and Blue?

It does not clear the Black and Blue threshold. It is worse. Much worse.

Tyler: “Tears are Not Enough”: worse than Black and Blue.  That’s late breaking news here in this neck of the woods.

Peter: I got us off on a tangent here.

We were discussing “We Are The World.”

Tyler: I feel like I could be less cynical about the whole enterprise.  One would hope their hearts were in the right place.

Peter: It felt genuine at the time. It resonated for a reason.

It wasn’t Gal Gadot singing “Imagine.”

Tyler: Sigh.

Peter: That was a real Grey Duck situation.

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